


How Cloud Got to Midgar, or, It's Just as Valid as Anything Else in This Game, or, At Least It Isn't FFVIII

by Margaret Ann (Manderson)



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, Headcanon, Humor, Rejection, Robots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 10:07:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6280282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manderson/pseuds/Margaret%20Ann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A ramble-y, potentially drunken explanation of how Cloud actually got to Midgar after the whole stabbity-death thing with Sephiroth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Cloud Got to Midgar, or, It's Just as Valid as Anything Else in This Game, or, At Least It Isn't FFVIII

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Prophetic_Fortune_Cookie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prophetic_Fortune_Cookie/gifts).



After Cloud was impaled on Sephiroth’s sword in Nibelheim, Hojo showed up to make sure all his mutants and Jenova were okay. He decided to take the bodies of the fun-fun dead people, stick some Jenova cells inside them, then set them on the world to do dastardly deeds such as stomping on pretty gardens, breeding mice, and stealing the comics from all the newspapers in Costa Del Sol. Just to make them easier to keep track of, Hojo also stuck them in black cloaks made from itchy wool.

When he was working with his final clone, Cloud, he decided to fix the gaping wound using some bologna from the local butcher shop. Unfortunately, it didn’t work, so he resorted to creating a robotic body with Cloud’s brain inside it. He gave Cloud golden hair with a big spike, just like it has looked when he was alive, except somewhat neater—the new version didn’t need the forty or so gallons of lard to keep it in place. He then inserted the Jenova cells. But when he was about to put the cloak on, the finishing touch, he realized he had used all the black cloth from the village, and the cloak was an inch too short. He kicked the robotic Cloud in the side, calling him a failure, and left in a big huff.

When he kicked him, Cloud’s “on” button, located in the crotch, was turned on. He took a little while to turn on for the first time because he was only running Microsoft Windows NT and had only about 2.5 kb RAM, so booted slowly. When he was finally completely “awake,” Hojo has been gone for a few months and several years had passed since the terrible incident at Nibelheim. He retained a few memories of a young man named Zack, who had been the Soldier he traveled back to Nibelheim with, as well as some memories of his childhood and his return trip. But where the line between what he had actually done and what he had merely witnessed was, he wasn’t sure. So he started walking to Midgar, drawn by both the body of Jenova and his logic circuits which plainly stated the ghetto of a large, evil, Lifesteam-sucking city must be where his destiny lay.

He walked part of the way before realizing he was being followed by some cops. He stopped, and was promptly arrested for indecent exposure: while Hojo gave everyone else cloaks, he hadn’t given them other clothes to wear. So Cloud had been walking naked since leaving Nibelheim. He shrugged, struck a cocky pose, then pulled out the big sword that was magnetically attached to his back (he had pulled it from a house in Nibelheim right before leaving) and slashed the police. He then stole their clothes, which just so happened to be the uniforms of the Soldier, First Class people.

Cloud continued walking after that. He scaled the mountains outside of North Corel, was forced to swim the ocean between Costa del Sol and Junon, and was struck a few times by lightning because he was rather metallic, so his innards were a bit fried by the time he managed to get to Midgar. He finally shut down outside of the train station in Sector 7.

Tifa, who was expecting her mail order husband from Rocket Town, Johnny, to arrive any day, was walking by when she saw Cloud. She was confused for a moment, thinking, _Boy, if this is Johnny, he looked much better in that catalog than this bum_. For indeed Cloud _did_ look like a bum. His clothes were tattered, his face was smudged, and he smelled like sewage. He leaked, as well, because Hojo hadn’t bothered to connect him correctly.

Tifa took him home anyway and gave him a couple stiff drinks before taking him to see Mukki, who was more than happy to bathe Cloud and otherwise clean him up. Tifa remembered him finally, and decided to keep him around for awhile, at least until Johnny came. Cloud wanted to leave and rejoin Jenova, but Tifa decided he was hers, and she got him a job with AVALANCHE. Their first mission with Cloud was the beginning of the game, so I assume you know the rest of the story.


End file.
